For the amusement of Thorki-shippers and general Avengers-fandom, here’s a few facts from the real mythology that Marvel left out.
- Loki is not Thor’s brother, but blood-brother to Odin. He and Odin slit their veins and locked elbows, mixing their blood and swearing brotherhood to each other. No-one really knows why.
Loki is more of a sort of adopted uncle for Thor - the kind who doesn’t get invited to any family get-togethers but who shows up anyway, drunk as hell and with a prostitute on his arm.
- Odin used to be a Jotun (what the movies call Frost Giants, though there were Fire Giants and Stone Giants, too) and had two brothers, Vile and Ve who helped him make the first humans out of some sticks they found on the beach one day.
- Loki once transformed himself into a mare to distract the work-horse of a Jotun who was winning a bet with the gods. The work-horse caught up with him, and boned him pregnant. The fruit of that union was the eight-legged horse Sleipner that Odin took as his steed because that’s not weird at all. You can even Odin riding it in “Thor.”
- Besides Sleipner, Loki also birthed Jormungandr, a serpent whose body spans the world, and whose poison will kill Thor at Ragnarok, and another of his children is the great wolf Fenris, who will eat Odin at Ragnarok. Basically, Loki got around a lot.
- Balder (or Baldur, if you like) is one of Thor’s ACTUAL siblings, who is considered most beautiful and fair and kind and nice and sweet and brave and awesome of all the gods. Loki tricked Balder’s blind brother, Hödr, into killing him with an arrow of mistletoe for no particular reason except Loki felt like being a dick that day.
- A Jotun once stole Thor’s hammer. In order to get it back, Thor crossdressed and disguised himself as Freya, the goddess of love, and nearly got married to the thief. It was Loki’s idea, and he crossdressed as a bridesmaid.
- In some stories, Odin and Loki both were said to often “do as women do,” which is code-speak for being on the receiving end of gay sex, usually to further some scheme. So if you’re writing slashfics with Loki as the uke, congratulations, it’s officially canon.
- Magic was considered women’s craft by the Vikings, as it was less manly than simply sticking a sword into whoever was annoying you. So when Loki in the movies is called a “master of magic,” they’re technically calling him a girly man. A lot of old Norse Sejd magic involved sexual rituals, by the way, often with tied-up slave men.
- Male homosexuality was generally frowned upon by the old Vikings, but only if you were “passive.” Boning a dude, on the other hand, was considered incredibly manly. Thor was said to have boned several really big and strong dudes to prove his strength and manliness.