I am probably too romantic to ever write actual sex-worker fic the way most people expect lolol I CANNOT DO STRAIGHT-ACROSS PORN.
If I wrote this, it would be Derek accidentally showing up at said parlor and OH HEY, that obnoxious annoying [really sexy] guy from his elective philosophy seminar is working there as a receptionist.
(Derek is getting a Masters in this shhh)
And Stiles is like OH… HI DEREK and Derek is like ???? because he didn’t think Stiles knew his name, okay, Derek never talks in class, he just broods in the back and one time he went off on a rant about how much Kant sucks but that was only one time.
And Derek is distracted by that so he doesn’t notice 1) Stiles getting flustered, which is not a common occurrence, and 2) Stiles making some really odd and super obvious comments about Derek’s oncoming “massage” (GET IT. ON-COMING.)
Like, “Wow, glad you’re here to, um, RELAX, I guess? You always seemed like the sort of guy who would benefit from a good… MASSAGE. I mean, I never thought you’d want to pay for it but hey, I’m not judging! Obviously. I do work here.”
And Derek’s like “Ummm what? Of course I’m paying for it. Where am I going to get a massage for free?”
And Stiles just rolls his eyes and goes “oh my god literally ANYWHERE, look at you, I would pay you to put my hands on any part of you. OHGOD please don’t tell the boss I said that. I already have three official warnings for unprofessional behavior, I’m sorry.”
Derek is just blinking stupidly at him when the ‘specialist’ comes out to take him in the back, and Derek’s letting himself be led away when Stiles goes “WAIT. Wait. Portia, I’m so sorry, I’ll totally cover commission and tip for this but please don’t.”
Then IDK one of the other girls goes OMG STILINSKI, IS THIS THE BROODY EYEBROW GUY FROM YOUR PHILOSOPHY SEMINAR YOU HAVE THE HUGE CRUSH ON?? And Stiles is like FUCK, FREESIA, THANKS A LOT, HE’S STANDING RIGHT HERE, and maybe that’s when Derek notices all the crushed velvet and red lighting and starts to suspect this isn’t a legitimate massage parlor.